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Flute/Piccolo Jokes


How do concert band flute players does it take to change a lightbulb?
They ask their boyfriend to do it for them.


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What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutists playing in unison.


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How many flute players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only 1, but she'll break 10 bulbs before she realizes they can't be pushed in.


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What key is the alto flute pitched in?
G-- I really don't care, either!!


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How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but she'll have to twist it back and forth for an hour to make sure she gets it just right.


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What's the difference between a flutist and a seamstress?
I seamstress tucks the frills.


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Piccolo Jokes

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How do you get two piccolo players to play in unison?
Shoot one.


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What is the range of a piccolo?
Oh, about twenty yards on a good day.


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What is the definition of perfect pitch in a piccolo?
When you throw it in the toilet and it doesn't hit the rim.


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How do you tune two piccolos?
You shoot them both.


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How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
--Five: One to change the bulb, one to pull the ladder out from under her, and three to bitch about how much better they would have done it.


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How many flutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one - she simply holds it up and the world revolves around her.


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What do you call a good flute section?
Impossible


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Q. How can you tell if a plane is full of flute players?
A. When the engines stop, the whining continues


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